Like everyone, I have been reeling from the surprising events of the last week. But in the midst of national mahem and fear, Ralph offered me a lovely surprise I didn’t expect. As I left the house Thursday morning to help with grandbabysitting, I mentioned that we would need to put the xmas tree outside later. Then the day got away from me. I periodically checked in on him ( I think although I was so tired from staying up most of Wednesday night glued to CSPAN, that I’m not sure), but didn’t get home until late afternoon. The sun was already setting and getting out of the car I consciously dreaded having to get Ralph to help me drag the tree out to the curb in near darkness. Instead I walked into the house and discovered an empty corner where the tree had been.
“Didn’t you tell me to take it out?” Ralph said looking up from his book.
“Yes, I guess I did but,” I didn’t finish the sentence. “I really, really appreciate this, “ I kept repeating instead. And I did. I made him an especially nice supper and made an effort to sit with him longer than usual afterwards. It was such a rare treat, to have a request followed. Not to have to repeat myself multiple times until I gave up and did it myself, or to have him sort of do what I asked but in a way that required me to step in and redo. I felt as if I had been given a rare, totally unexpected gift.
I also felt a bit sad, that Ralph performing such a basic task made me jubilant, at least for an hour or two.
Alice in Memoryland 
I really enjoy your posts.
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Thank you so much.
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I can really relate to “sort of do what I asked but in a way that required me to step in and redo.” I try to include my husband in household tasks but find that more and more I just try to quietly handle them myself. Maybe it is not the best thing for him but sometimes I just need it to be easier for me.
I’m so glad you had that nice surprise. I think it is great to enjoy the surprises when we can.
I hope there are more to come for you
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Thanks so much for writing. It is a balancing act isn’t it. I am grouchy today so your comment was really good to read to remind me to relax…..
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I understand what you are saying. It doesn’t take much to make us happy. Right now I am watching my husband make a peanut butter sandwich and it’s driving me 😜 30 minutes and it is done. It took him an hour to make the bed this morning. He changes the pillows around every day but it is an hour of his day that he is occupied. I don’t think it will be too long before it is an impossible task. He watched TV on Wed with me but has no idea of what happened. He can’t remember that we need to wear a mask and the treason for it😢
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Ralph doesn’t ever make bed. He makes his pnut sandwich quickly but has no idea about using a plate and leaves a complete mess every time. I know better but berate him every time….Thanks for writing and sharing.
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Glad you said something about making messes — my husband was always such a neat person, but anymore, he is unbelievably messy. I never berate him for it because I know it’s because of the Alzheimer’s and he can’t help it, but it always surprises me when he makes a mess doing the simplest of things with food. Sad in a way…
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Love your note and completely relate. Thanks for writing
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