I used to love those self-help quizzes in magazines so now I have made up my own and taken in. I am not sure if I passed or not.

Questions:

Who did the following, A (Alice) or R(Ralph), in the last week?

1. Who asked repeatedly where the other was going today?
2. Who asked repeatedly what the other was doing all afternoon?
3. Who went to an Alzheimer’s support group Friday?
4. Who took the dog to the vet?
5. Who could not find his/her cell phone for two hours?
6. Who doesn’t answer the phone when called?
7. Who answered the final Jeopardy question right?
8. Who got in the car without putting the dog in the house yesterday?
9. Who left the eggs boiling on the stove last night?
10. Who noticed and turned off the stove last night?

Answers:

1. R (Although I was only going to the gym) but also A (To remind Ralph he had a doctor appointment)
2. A (Because I worry he just sits and smokes unless I push him to do a chore or activity); Not R (He has lost curiosity about my activities)
3. A (Ralph refuses to go because he says one person always talks too much and he doesn’t get enough factual information)
4. R (While I was at the support group actually; this was the first time he has taken responsibility for a chore in a while, and I was nervous about sending him alone. But he assured me that he knew the way and he did. The dog’s check up went without a hitch. The sense of normalcy was a good experience for Ralph and for me.)
5. Well, I think that might be R and A, each on different days. (Actually I am not sure where mine is right now. Oops, there it is under an envelope on my desk.)
6. R. (When I misplace my phone, I start calling it. When R misplaces his phone, he doesn’t notice. If I am out and checking on him, I get extremely nervous that he’s not answering. When I am the one home and he is not in the house and not answering the phone, I can get a little frantic. So far my worry has been needless, thank goodness.
7. R (One advantage of having a husband with MCI/Early Alzheimer’s—he doesn’t lord it over me because he almost immediately forgets that he’s one-upped me)
8. R (This was disturbing because, see 4., the dog is the area of responsibility where Ralph usually seems the most his old self; I took care of the dog without mentioning to Ralph who would have become very upset at his lapse)
9. A (I put them on, left to check email and Ralph was the one who noticed and turned off the burner just as I was walking back into the room)
10. R (See 9. Above.)

Answering my little quiz has been a good reminder to myself that the line between forgetfulness and Alzheimer’s related loss of memory is not always as clear. What is different is often more in the reaction. I fret while Ralph doesn’t know what he’s forgotten or that he’s forgotten. I think I may quiz myself more often to keep track of how we’re doing.